Open Letter to Sonoma County Board of Supervisors
Monday, April 19, 2010 2:59PM

Dear Sonoma County Board of Supervisors,

I was absolutely appalled to read about Clay and Harold, a gay couple living in your county whose lives were tragically disrespected under your watch.

According to a Seattle Online Newspaper, the elderly gay couple was separated when Harold, 88, was hospitalized after a fall.  Clay, his 77 year-old partner of 20 years, was denied visitation despite legal documents that should have permitted him to see Harold.  Clay was then allegedly committed to a nursing home -- against his will -- and as Harold's life slipped away, they both were kept apart. 

Even more despicably, their apartment and belongings were surrendered and auctioned off.  Harold died.  And what was left of their life together is gone.

I understand there is a lawsuit headed for court this July.  Despite the legal issues here -- of which there are many -- this is about simple human compassion.  The fact that not ONE of you had the courage to step in and stop this from happening is disgusting.  Imagine your parents being ripped apart in their final moments of life.  Imagine being separated from your husband or wife as they slipped away.  Imagine sharing your life with someone in a healthy, loving relationship for twenty years, only to be told your love simply doesn't count in Sonoma County.

Unfortunately, the damage is done.  Nothing can give Clay and Harold their final moments together.  Nothing can return their precious possessions, or make up for the simple human dignity they should have been shown by your office.  But you can make sure this never happens again by creating non-discrimination policies in your county, and becoming an advocate for your Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender constituents.

I urge you to work with organizations like HRC or NCLR to help form these policies and spread acceptance, tolerance, and compassion for ALL of your neighbors.

We're not asking for privileged treatment.  Just equal human dignity.

Thank you for your time,

Blake Hayes
New York, NY